Good evening, I just finished watching “The Bridge” and made it through the movie without crying.Why, would I watch it you say? Well, one of my oldest and dearest friends recently jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Needless to say, but I will say it,  I am compelled to find out as much as possible about the bridge. Perhaps that is because I’ve been crying so much since I found out. My friend, in my opinion, was a genius. Up until my early thirties we remained close, and prior to that he was always there for me. He was one of the most intellectual , deeply philosophical and honest persons that I’ve ever known. My mother moved me to San Leandro when I was approximately 12 or so years of age. I don’t remember much about my childhood in San Leandro (hardly anything prior to the that), but what I do remember about living in San Leandro was deeply disturbing. My friend and my sister were two things that bring a smile to my face, that’s not to say I didn’t have fond memories of other friends or my mother, but my friend and my sister were the two people with whom I deeply loved most. In fact, my friend, would never tear me apart and always do his best to lift me up. I was a very troubled boy and up to the time the Lord took over my heart, I remained a troubled adult. Our history was great, and the bond that connected us was enormous. Much of our friendship revolved around debating complex issues in life-whether we were in opposition or in sync, and/or getting into chemically induced trouble. We shared much in common. Eventually my friend started to have deep issues that were wrapped around his frustrations towards those that he loved and society in large. It wasn’t as apparent to me until my early thirties (yes, the Lord Jesus has a way of illuminating all secrets.) Shortly after that, we grew apart, and our friendship never quit bounced back, eventhough I always prayed and thought one day we would get back to the way we were. My friend’s passion for his cyber project “DSP-Sizzle Master”, a web portal that revolved around his passion for communication was very dear to him. In fact the web to him meant communicating. Yes, he was a great communicator, except in the most important aspect of his life where it was needed most; he couldn’t ask for help. We all need to share more and the web is a golden opportunity for that. Perhaps, he truly believed he didn’t need help, but rather, everyone one around him needed the help. I believe that was part of his “mental illness” that clouded and covered his logic. I’ll miss him much and I can only hope that God will allow us to be friends for eternity. Now for the hard part. Do I believe suicide is a sin? Yes, but I believe many things God considers sin. I’m praying that God will take in to account all of the reasons that led up to the act, and with that said, I don’t believe that if you commit suicide that’s it, your going to be seperated from God forever. At least I’m praying that’s not the case. But you know what? We are not God, and we can not pretend to think for God, let alone presume we know what he will do in this matter. God will do what God will do, and there isn’t a darn thing you, I or any of us can do about it. So please, pray with me, that my friend is in peace and the Lord is healing his broken spirit and he will one day be reunited with his loved ones.

 

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